Supporting Positive Conflict Resolution

We believe that our nervous system needs healthy relationships with family and peers; that we need to feel loved and give love to others. That process can be easy when things are going well and how we want them to go. The difficulties arise when things aren’t going the way we like and when we are dealing with conflict. Conflict can be seen as an opportunity to improve our relationships with others; ironing out the differences and getting on the same page. Often conflict is seen as a personal attack and blaming of situations or others or emphasizing how we are a victim ensues.

We seek to help people and families increase the toolkits they have when responding to conflict. We want to help people and families repair relationships that will allow for it and set boundaries in a kind, loving, and respectful way. We believe the process of doing this (using healthy responses to conflict) during childhood creates healthy adult responses to conflict, even if that person has issues, such as neurodivergence, a disordered personality, anxiety, and/or depression.

We use many science based tools to help clients create and use a healthy problem solving toolkit and create or improve healthy relationships, as much as possible for the person we are treating.

Unfortunately some people are resistant to improving. He or she will approach issues by blaming others and seeking alliance, even from a counselor, and this process does negatively impact children or families who have such a person within the family. These people respond to conflict by blaming others; either in the moment of conflict or writing negative reviews regularly when they are unable to receive alliance with them or the outcome they seek. We, Happy Brain Counseling professionals, work regularly with these people who have toxic conflict resolution patterns and do not want to improve. Because we do not ask for our patients with healthy personalities to write positive reviews, as it would not allow for their privacy, we experience negative reviews and apologize for the detriment caused to you if you have read this vile language. HIPAA privacy laws do not allow us to disclose the issues publically, and thus negative reviews are one-sided. We care about all of our patients, even the ones who handle conflict poorly, and send love to their pain.

To support healthy conflict management, we recommend the following book: BIFF, Bill Eddy.

To support healthy conflict management within toxic blended families, we recommend:
BIFF for Coparents, Bill Eddy,
Divorce Poison, Richard Warshak, and,
Coparenting with a Toxic Ex, Amy Baker, et al.

To support legal professionals dealing with toxic parents and to understand those issues, we recommend: The Narcissistic Parent: A Guidebook for Legal Professionals Working with Families in High-Conflict Divorce, G.A. Childress, and, Parental Alienation: The Handbook for Mental Health and Legal Professionals, Demosthenes Lorandos, et al.

We are happy to work with you or to answer questions you may have at 314-717-0190, emailing at, or contacting Alanna, our office manager to schedule an appointment at